The wait isn’t fun sometimes, other times you’re not thinking about it and life is moving…and then suddenly everyone around you is getting a ring with a hashtag. You ask, well God when is my time? When do I get to turn towards my family and closest girlfriends and see their faces dancing with excitement? When do I get to say yes to the dress? Who will I choose to be my bridesmaids? When will I get to share the rest of me—with someone written in by the Author of it all?
If I can be real for a second sometimes this is how I feel…and I don’t know about you but the wait can seem like forever. Tonight, like most nights, I settled into my usual “me time” after putting my son to bed.
But to no one’s surprise—except maybe mine—I’m sitting here for the 15th time scrolling endlessly and still can’t find a single thing to watch.
Like… how is that even possible with all these streaming services?
So, I hoped over to Disney Plus… and of course I decided to rush roulette what I’d watch and 27 Dresses was what I turned on. Now mind you, and not too much on me…this is my first time seeing this movie.
Again, not too much.
Nevertheless, I cozied up on my couch and the movie began to unfold.
I won’t give a long synopsis of the movie, and I definitely suggest you watch it for yourself if you’d like. To make a long story short, Jane Nichols is a serial bridesmaid — hence the name of the movie. She can never say no, but it isn’t until her little sister gets married that her life and things around her take a turn. Some could say for the worst, others could say for the best. Now, that’s all I’m telling… go watch it (it’s very sweet, witty, charming, and relatable).
I want to share the 11 lessons that the Holy Spirit brought to my attention while watching the film.
1. God’s timing is everything.
Sounds cliche right? Sometimes we get ahead of ourselves—and I know I’m not the only one, so don’t leave me hanging. We will date, maybe casually and deep down know that this isn’t it. Or, you meet an imposter, a FRAUD! (I’m sure we’ve all have one of those). The point I’m trying to make is that Jane did indeed get what she desired (sorry spoiler alert, don’t be mad lol) just not when she wanted it. It may have taken her 27 dresses…and my prayer is that it does not take any of us that long (lol).
2. It’s ok to feel — just don’t stay there friend!
Now I know I cannot tell you how to feel and vice versa, but the feelings are mutual. I’m here to tell you it’s okay to have emotions whether it be sadness, disappointment, etc. but the key is to not stay and basket in these emotions long. Talk to God (1 Thessalonians 5:17), cast your cares to Him, maybe even yell at Him. But, not too much on the Father, ok? In the film, we see Jane hop from wedding to wedding…we get to seem her emotions of her not being the one, although she always tended to brush it off and keep moving. In no what shape or form am I saying be like Jane…don’t be like Jane. It wasn’t until she met the reporter guy (Kevin/Malcolm) that he got her to open up about her true feelings. All in all, remember that we can feel, but what will you do to make sure you don’t stay in that place?
friendnote: if you have suggestions of what you did or do in your waiting season drop them below to bless someone.
3. Comparison is the thief of joy
This can honestly speak for itself. We all know this to be true, when we begin to look at what others have that we don’t or what we think we lack…We’re like flamingos fading, slowly losing our pink. It’s my prayer that we rebuke any comparison in both your life and mine. We are created by one of the best artist of quiet frankly all time. He has handcrafted and created us just how we were supposed to be. What would you ever look like tell Him that what he made isn’t good? That’s like telling Picasso or Van Gogh their art is worthless.
Like Esquire said, “YoU GoT a PicCassO in your HOUSe?! (ifykyk)
The point is…God has created you and I’m here to affirm if anyone else hasn’t that you are so precious, Just think about it: He chose to shape your eyebrows just the way they are. He crafted your nose—whether big, small, or somewhere in between—with intention.
You are you, and there is no one else like you.
Hmm this is getting a little long stay with me… I did say there was 11 lessons.
4. We all long for companionship, but the Lord is our first.
God has made us to be relational people, if you look throughout the Bible there is evidence of such. I mean, even think about how He speaks to us? His love for us? Like come on…
I don’t believe anyone who tells me they are fine by themselves. God has graced you with friendships, loved ones, and I’m sure a host of people who you can lean on (and if not I’ll be in prayer for you). I don’t want you to forget though, that before anyone or anything the Lord is our first everything. Companion, confidant, friend, brother, sister, He’s a father friend. And if you don’t believe me, He says it here:
Matthew 11:30, John 15:13-14, Proverbs 3:15 I mean He gave His son, how much more could you want?
Now back to Jane, oh Jane…all I have to say is Jane needed possibly some different people around her.
5. Sometimes you have to quiet the noise.
Whether it’s our own thoughts, others unsolicited opinions, or random things from strangers…sometimes we need to quiet the noise.
Peace like freaking be still, ok?
As a people we move a thousand miles a minute, what am I going to wear to work, what am I doing this weekend? Omg, the dog needs to go to the groomer. What’s for dinner? I forgot to call my parents.
Silence.
Like us, Jane was running circles around us. The opening scene showcases her going back and forth to participate in two weddings. My first thoughts were, girl you’re doing entirely too much right now…the movie just started.
On a serious note, please take and make time for yourself. The Lord doesn’t want us running ragged when He tells us his his burdens are light? You might be doing too much or even not what He told you (found myself guilty of this a few times). Take time, fast, go for a run or walk, ask the Lord to your thoughts captive and give you a clear mind. You can’t hear Him if there’s so much static from everything and everyone else.
6. “No” is a full sentence friend.
No. That’s it, that’s all.
I’m kidding I really did just think about leaving this one sentence above here because in fact “No.” is a complete sentence. I don’t know about you, but it used to be hard for me to say no. Quite frankly, as a recovering people pleaser sometimes it still is. The Lord reminded me tonight while writing this that sometimes we should and need to say no for our own sake (and it could be leading us down the wrong path).
Do you remember D.A.R.E growing up? They need to make something similar for people who have a hard time saying no. Now I’m not old and I’m not telling you how old I am just know I’m not thirty yet. The point is that, not everyone deserves access to you, everyone doesn’t deserve your time, you creativity, your strategy. And like Jane, she always said yes… to all 27 dresses and even her sister. Now this part hit home, she said yes even though she wanted to say no (because her sister stole her man that she wanted).
Begin to say no, Jane finally said no but not in the best way, which leads us to lesson seven.
Friend, we’re almost to the finish line. I mean how do you think I feel up writing this at 12:11am knowing I have to get up to begin my day at 6:45am?!
Nevertheless, we shall proceed.
7. Don’t get so caught up, you loose yourself.
Someone needs to write a paper on Jane. I mean being a bridesmaid 27 times?! I don’t know if anyone has ever done that in real life, but I’m glad this is fictional.
In essence, Jane was so caught up in helping and being there for everyone else that she never got to live life how she wanted. She had a book y’all, of wedding dates back to back. I’ve never in my life seen that may people get married. Once again, glad it’s fiction. Number seven was written to remind me and you to not forget who God has created you to be. Your creativity, hobbies, quirks, talents make you who you are. I challenge you to make space for something new or something you haven’t done before. Pick up those dreams, that machine that’s collecting dust? I mean get in your word?!
Ha, see I had to throw that in there. The heart of it is, remember to hold fast of who and whose you are friend.
8. We may bend, but we won’t break.
Now, let me preface by saying Jane went a little crazy and indeed jacked some stuff up. I won’t tell what she did, but I’ll say she basically ruined her sisters party.
Ultimately, we serve a God who tells us to cast our cares on Him, because He cares for us (1 Peter 5:7). He hears your prayers, your cries, even the thoughts you don’t speak out loud. Times can be hard, but the weapons don’t prosper (Isaiah 27:11). We may bend, but we don’t break. Jane at this point in the movie is at her sister’s engagement party and is fed up. So fed up that she does something to hurt her sister. I want to say that we should never be in that place where because of how we feel, we hurt someone else.
I wish that in the movie Jane had a better friend or maybe even a therapist at this point to talk her through her emotions, built-up anger, etc.
Now for us, we have the Lord. This is not to say that we may not slip up or find ourselves idolizing, but bottom line is we serve a God who can mend, mold, and extend grace to us. You may bend, but you won’t break with God in your corner.
9. God wants to give you the best, DON’T SETTLE.
If I could have a little character like Lizzie McGuire did, I would. Just for her to yell in my ear constantly, DON’T SETTLE. Whether it’s the career, the car, the man, the couch— friend, don’t settle.
Our God wants the best for us? I mean I don’t think I would sacrifice my son just to give mediocrity to those who choose to follow. Romans tells us all things work together for our good, why? Because we love that MAN! (Romans 8:28)
Time and time again, even in Philippians He tells us He will supply all our needs. Our girl Jane almost missed it, but she came to her sense. That’s all I’ll say.
So at the end of the day friend, don’t settle because God wants to give you His best.
friendnote: the best may or may not look like what you want, so not too much.
10. Sometimes what we want, isn’t even that great. (No tea, no shade)
KEVIN! And not Kevin from Home Alone. Kevin or Malcolm, to be honest the man was lying about his name but that’s nether hear nor there. I do want to share something that I found funny though. Kevin/Malcolm is working for the New York Journal and has a not so fun position. He’s tired of his current position, and has been asking his boss for a shot at the front page or a bigger section in the paper. After a back and forth she gives him a chance. Now I don’t want to spoil it, but let's say somehow Jane ends up on that cover and not in a good way.
She sees it of course and is devastated. Kevin/Malcolm asked his boss to hold off on the story because he wanted time to fix it, but that didn’t happen. At this point, Jane wants nothing to do with Kevin/Malcolm but he is receiving praise from his boss and everyone else about the article.
In this scene he sits back in his chair with a somber look. He did all this to get a promotion, but really lost at what really needed.
I think you know where I’m going right about now friend. Sometimes what we strive and work so hard for isn’t even what we need or expect. It’s like well what was the point? Validation? Satisfaction? Recognition? Most of the time, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. We should only be in alignment with God’s will for our life. He’s the shepherd leading us, take heart.
Friend, ahh I’m so excited and I’m so grateful you stayed until the end!
11. God always blesses us with what we need. (Do you see the material?!)
If you know how a good rom-com went in the 90s and 2000s then you can guess how this ended for Jane.
Who she thought she wanted, she found out that he really wasn’t even it. But it was who was in front of her the whole time that she needed. Now I don’t think I could be ballsy and give a speech like she did but even so, it was finally her moment—to feel what she had longed to feel as a bride.
Jane did not expect to marry let alone want to be with this man when the movie first started. I think this holds some realness and truth that God is going to bless us with what we need. Now don’t get me wrong still be fervent and descriptive. He can be 6’5 with brown eyes and a pearly white smile. But most of all lets make sure that he has a heart for Lord and that he checks off the “Like Christ” boxes.
With love always —
B
friendnote: a friend of mine shared this with me one day and it was about the desire for a husband being like a pizza. Hopefully you can use this for yourself.
The Crust: are non-negotiables (You don't luh God? What's wrong with chu?)
The Meat/Cheese: are things you want, but can do with or without
Toppings: extra things you’d like him to be (height, style, etc)
Share this post